Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeoning of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

-Ernest Henley



The Last Night of October

      The rains haven’t stopped for 3 days now. The city is almost flooded. Haven’t gone out anywhere for more than a week. It’s been just me in my room with food. The clock reads 20:23. And I am in a real need to freak out somewhere in this rain. Facebooking can turn out a real bore sometimes. I look for friends who are available. And yes. Here is Deep Ardin, another jobless freak like me.

Abhinav: Dude I want to go somewhere.

Deep: You mad? Where will you go?

Abhinav: Yarada!

Deep: Hmm… we can go in a car. Ask Peyus.

Abhinav: Who all you think can come?

Deep: You ask Kireetie I will ask Peyus.

Abhinav: Ok.

(5 minutes later)

Abhinav: This ass didn’t pick up.

Deep: Hahaha same here.

Abhinav: Ok wait he picked up.

(5 minutes later)

Abhinav: He said he will call up in sometime and tell if he is coming. If he is coming he will get the car, he said.

Deep: Cool! If it’s a car I am in. Else take light.

Abhinav: No dude. Listen. We will go no matter what. We will go on bikes. It will be fun- water all around, the rain, the wind, the ride, the shivers. It will be awesome, trust me.

Deep: No. I have exams day after, I will fall sick. I will come only if its car.

Abhinav: Let’s see, let him call up first.

(20 minutes later)

(The phone rings)

Kireetie: Dude I am coming.

Abhinav: Really? What did you tell at home?

Kireetie: I told you are sick and I have to take you hospital.

Abhinav: Haha! Ok. Listen pick up Deep while you come. I will ask him to call you up.

Line disconnects.

(On facebook)

Abhinav: Kireetie is coming to your place to pick you.

Deep: No… No I am not coming on bikes.

Abhinav: You ass he is coming in car. You call him and talk to him once. And listen while you come, get me veg. fried rice from People’s Kitchen. I will pay you after you come here.

Deep: I will see if it is open.

Abhinav: Ok! Get it if it’s open. Else we will see something. I will call up Peyus.

(Peyus’ phone rings...)

Peyus: Hello! (A lot of noise in the background)

Abhinav: We are going to yarada! You will come?

Peyus: When?

Abhinav: Now.

Peyus: Ok. I will come.

Abhinav: Fine. Come to my room, Kireetie is coming with the car, he is picking up Deep. You come here.

Peyus: Ok. Bye.

(Line disconnects)

It’s a cold night, with rain nonstop, no current and I am in bathroom, trying to take shower, only to realize that water isn’t coming. There is a bucket half full of freezing water and I manage in that.

(15 minutes later)

Peyus arrives all wet, water dripping on my floor. Except his underwear he changes his clothes and uses mine. 20 minutes later, Kireetie and Deep arrive with food.

We take the food, lock the room, go to the car. Hot fried rice in cold rain feels great. Once eating was over. The ride began. If you have never sat while Kireetie drives, take my word, don’t sit either. His car should have a warning before you enter; “Heart patients, small kids and pregnant women not allowed”. With heavy downpour, all water on the roads, and no proper view our hero was driving it at 90kmph minimum and once we hit the highway the speedometer didn’t come below 100. The twists and turn and the dodges, I had my balls in my mouth on many occasions. The only thing he didn’t do was wheelie with his car. I wouldn’t have been surprised though if even that took place.

NH5 is all wet. We are zipping past everything at 110kmph. I am holding the seats from the rear looking at the road and praying for mere survival. We are past Autonagar, and a car ahead of us suddenly applies brakes and changes its lane and drives ahead. We notice what made him change the lane. An accident had taken place, appeared very recent. The bike destroyed, the rider is fallen and is motionless. We drive by as well, along with others, but decide to take a U-turn and we arrive at the place where the accident took place. The bike is ripped apart, the dome on the ground, other vulnerable parts of the bike, broken and spread on the road. The rider is motionless, wearing a white jacket, the head is covered with the cap and the face with a kerchief. The jacket is curled up to his chest and exposing his motionless stomach to the rain. I am standing there wondering, if he is alive or dead.

I reach out to check his pulse. The hand is cold and fists closed tight, I don’t find any pulse. I ask Peyus to check the pulse of the other hand. He didn’t find any either. We declare him dead. Deep is freaking out, and asking us to leave. Kireetie calls up 108. Instead of summoning someone quickly to the accident scene, the 108 official is asking stupid questions, what is your name? where you from? among others. People are still driving by. The accident appears to be recent because the engine is hot and fumes are coming out of it. The only thing which is distracting the drivers and making them take another lane is the blinker of the bike, which upon falling has got switched on and is attracting attention, thus warning people of the accident; else a high speeding truck would have gone over this poor guy long time back.

7 minutes have past by and no 108 has yet arrived, just when this man coughs. The reason it happened was the rain was entering his nose and thus going up into his head which made him cough. Peyus and I shout “HE IS ALIVE, He is alive.” We try to lift his head to avoid water from entering his nose. That is when I notice, there is a severe head injury with blood on the road, which was flowing down with water. Peyus tries to help me, and blood flows down his hand through the head. We try to press the injury and shield his face from water. I notice due to the injury the cerebellum fluid has flown out through his nose. We call 108 again summoning them the victim is alive, by now some of the people have stopped noticing the drama happening, and they call 108 as well. More 15 minutes passes by and yet no 108.

The guy is breathing heavily; I notice he has a phone in his pocket. I reach out for it, when others shout DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING.

Abhinav: He has a phone, we can call up some of his relative, tell them about the accident.

Deep: No, you are not supposed to touch anything.

Peyus: Yes, don’t do anything until 108 comes.

I had no choice but to listen to them.

Another 8 minutes later Ambulance comes. Lazily stops. There is no nurse, no doctor- a driver with a helper. The helper is looking at the victim and instead of acting quick is arranging his hoodie’s cap and tying a knot.

Then he says: Let’s keep him like this for 2 minutes then we will take him inside.

Something makes him think again, and he says: No let’s take him inside first.

Along with others we help in lifting him, and place him on the stretcher. The stretcher moves in, and he says he is taking him to KGH. I inform him that there is a phone in his pocket, there must be a contact of his relative, call them up and inform them of the accident. He says he will do.

Deep: Let’s leave now at least.

And we departed.

We all went by to our respective houses and slept the day away, but the night that we had just witnessed would be etched in our memories for a long long time.

I am glad that this Last Night of October was not the last night for that rider. He shall live to see more Octobers. But this entire mishap brought a few things to my notice:

1. The rider was unconscious, lying on the road waiting to be run over by a speeding vehicle. Why didn’t anybody stop and come forward for his help? Was it the rain? Was it the hurry? Or has the value of life decreased?

2. There was a phone in the rider’s pocket. I could have taken that phone, called up his relative myself, why didn’t I take that responsibility? Why did I try to take the short way out and escape the trouble? Are we all turning emotionless? Is this the way it is supposed to be?

The night gave me all these questions. I wonder how many more nights it shall take me to figure out the answers. I hope we all are not heading in the wrong direction.

Disappointment. Hope.

Dry leaves and fallen flowers.

Abandoned houses and broken towers.

Shattered life, disoriented soul.

Aimless life, without any goal.

These are the things disappointment can give.

This will be the life with which one should live.

One may feel grounded with this thought.

Yet this battle, with self has to be fought.

Living may seem worthless, and all the efforts futile,

But only if we live, the bad days will go by.

Falling doesn’t mean approach of the end.

There still can be ways by which we can mend.

Looking for opportunities, options and ways.

Working for the future and brighter days.

Staying with life, come what may,

And sticking with hope is what eventually pays.

The bad days will come and go.

Disappointments will cast their shadow.

Love could feel lost, and life would feel low.

But if you are strong within,

You shall live to see a better tomorrow!

-Abhinava Sharma “Deep”

THE MUNNAR NIGHT

      It was during the industrial tour of Nov 2008, that we made a visit to this hill station in Kerala, Munnar. Its 2 years since this incident, but the occurrences of the night are still fresh in my mind.

The people who were lucky enough to be a part of this legendary night were, Me (Abhinav), Santosh, Jeevan, Vineeth, Kaushik, Sandhya, Anusha and Dhana.

The 60 people of our class and our lecturers had settled into this hotel, with 4 students in each room. And everybody was in their respective rooms sleeping, but the names mentioned above were not sleepy and happened to meet in the gallery of the rooms. Santosh, Jeevan, Vineeth and Kaushik were from the same room, and me another.

Before I get into the details of the night, the reader should be given a clear picture of what this gallery looked like. We were on the second floor of the building. With this Z shaped gallery (of 90 degree bends), and two sets of stairs at each end. The lighting of this gallery was also not very bright and one fluorescent lamp lighted at its dimmest possible brightness. This group of ours sat on one set of stairs, and because the bend was 90 degrees, we were clueless about who comes or goes from the other stairs. You must be wondering what made us sit in the stairs in the middle of the night, well girls were given the first floor rooms of the hotel and guys the second and third. The two lecturers who accompanied us had taken the two rooms in the terrace. And it was not advisable for guys to spend the night in girl’s room or girls in guy’s room. Hence we were sitting on the stairs and playing Dumb Shiraz.

      Santosh, Sandhya, Jeevan and Me were one team remaining another. The person enacting would stand in front of the stairs (where his team members were sitting) and act. And the other team would sit behind this team on the same stairs. The game was going good, and we were leading, until one point where Santosh was unable to enact a simple movie name, and thus gave them an equalizer. Santosh quite disappointed with his effort went and sat behind everyone on the top most stairs. After sometime unable to bear the guilt he decided to leave (without informing anyone, he climbed up till the terrace, took the other stairs at other end of the Z gallery and went the reception). And none of us realized that Santosh had mysteriously left. Half an hour into the game, with scores still the same, we realized Santosh has disappeared. And all of us got the eerie feeling of something going wrong. The sudden disappearance of him had made everyone extremely alert to the slightest of noise. We decided to look for him, all one knew was he hadn’t gone down, because for that he would have to cross us, which he didn’t (and it didn’t strike that he could use the other stairs for this purpose).

Hence I followed by Kaushik and Jeevan went up, to the terrace to look for him, and Vineeth stayed back to take care of the girls. We climbed the stairs with sweat pouring on November night (if you are thinking what kind of scary people we are, then you are not really imagining the situation we were in, with our friend missing under mysterious circumstances, and we three walking into darkness completely unaware of what awaits us). The terrace was empty and we looked for Santosh in every possible hiding place of the terrace, when Kaushik found an Ouija drawing on the wall, made by someone. It looked like someone had tried to call the spirits there using that Ouija drawing. It freaked us out from top to toe, and we ran to the second floor shouting and panting like dogs. Hearing all this noise, the missing guy Santosh (who was sleeping in the couch of the reception), came running to see what happened. And everyone was very happy to see our dear friend alive. So we narrated him the entire incident of how we freaked out on not finding him, and about the Ouija drawing on the terrace (which we found out next day was scribbling by a small child using the red stone, apparently the child has tried to make triangles which made Kaushik think they were the Ouija drawings). Santosh told us, how disappointed he was for losing that point, and left via the terrace, all this created a humorous atmosphere among us. (Anusha seemingly tired already, retired for her room).

      Santosh then wanted to see that Ouija drawing, so Vineeth lead the way for him to the terrace. And remaining of us was standing on the gallery a little away from the stairs, talking. Just when I needed to fart, I didn’t want to embarrass myself so I quietly walked away from the group towards the stairs which lead downstairs and farted noiselessly in peace. But none of the girls or Kaushik and Jeevan realized that I had moved away, and Sandhya saw a figure (me) standing right under the lights near the stairs (now the lights were falling straight on my head, thus making me stand under my own shadow, making me unrecognizable) and she thought it was a spirit and she let out a cry. Kaushik, Dhana and Jeevan all looked at me for split second, screamed loudly, jumped and ran into the gallery.

Well look at the situation I was in, these 4 had just looked in my direction, have let out a cry and ran, and all this in a fraction of seconds. My entire body shook with the thought that someone was right behind me (it couldn’t have been Vineeth and Santosh because they had gone upstairs, and I was standing near the stairs leading down). In split second I took two leaps and was in the place where a second earlier Kaushik and others have stood, I looked into the direction where I was standing a few milliseconds back to look for the ghost which had propped behind me, only to find air. This entire scene happened in not more than 2-3 seconds, (I understood the reason for their fear and scare and made me laugh out loud). At this exact time, Vineeth and Santosh were just stepping into the terrace, when they heard the cry which freaked them completely and in just 3-4 steps they descended down two floors, to find me rolling with laughter. We regrouped then to discuss this new happening. On realizing what has just occurred everyone had a good laugh again.

      It was Dhana’s turn now, who seemingly had gotten bored of this funny happenings had retired for her room (again without informing anyone) and Sandhya found her missing and freaked out, everyone assured her that she must have gone to her room, but Sandhya was still getting scared. So I went to Dhana’s room (which was located exactly at the bend of the 90 degree of the Z gallery) to check if she was actually in the room. I knocked. Dhana opened, saw me, and let out a cry right on my face (I don’t know why), this shrill cry of her’s freaked me, and I cried out myself and in my fear I yelled at her “Wtf did you shout for? It’s me Abhinav. Just stay in your room. Sandhya was getting worried about you.” So I came back, and told Sandhya that Dhana was in her room, it was then that everybody decided to go to their respective rooms. Sandhya who was from Dhana’s room was going, and Kaushik said, ‘I will accompany you, so that you don’t get scared’. This sentence was hell funny. Because Kaushik (better known as Cow-Shit) is a pussy himself and he was going to accompany her. So I decided to screw Cowshit. As they left, taking the stairs. I ran from the other side and stood right at the turn of the gallery where they were about to come. As they were approaching, Kaushik was scaring the girl, telling her “Look there is someone” just as he completed this sentence I pounced on him like a tiger. He cried out like a cat, jumped 3 feet in the air, and crouched on the floor. It was worth a video. Sandhya got really angry and was letting out curses on me. Cowshit was still in fear and just survived a mini heart attack.

      Sandhya came back to 2nd floor to scold me more. When she was done scolding, she instructed everyone not to follow her, and she would go alone. But Vineeth disobeyed and accompanied her. And I, Cowshit, Jeevan and Santosh had entered Santosh’s room. (You might remember that this was not my room, but I had come here for time being. But others didn’t realize this) And Santosh saw that there were 4 members in the room, so he went to close the door, as he left the door knob, it rotated back (Vineeth who was still out was trying to open it from outside) and Santosh not realizing this, thought that it was a ghost, and we all saw the face expression of his changing from ‘Nothing’ to ‘A Freaked Out Nut’, his mouth wide open, he peeped outside to see which ghost it was trying to open the door, and found Vineeth, yet shouted aloud (only he can explain why he did that). And thus entered Vineeth and thus ended all the happenings of this legendary night.

I stayed back in their room for some time, discussing and re-discussing the entire night’s occurrences. None of us had witnessed such a night ever in our lives, and nor will we do (until something extraordinary happens again to one of us).

      Nothing in this entire story is self made, and if you have found any part of this story boring, it only means that I have not been able to recreate the magic of that night through my words.

2 years have passed by, but that Munnar night remains THE MUNNAR NIGHT of our lives.

-Abhinava Sharma “Deep”

Tips to save money!

If you stay alone, and you get limited cash from your parents. Here are some tips on how to save some bucks.

1. Bunk college. This will help you in saving petrol/money (petrol if you own a bike, money if you travel in auto/buses).

2. Eat less, sleep more. This will help you in saving the money spent on food, and will also help you stay in shape, thus further saves money spent on gym or fitness routines.

3. Take bath once in 3-4 days. You will save the shampoo/facewash/soap/water.

4. Visit friends during lunch/dinner time, thus it will help you in getting free food, and add to your savings.

5. Play poker with newbies for real money at high stakes and earn some bucks.

6. Be careful with yourself and your stuffs, eg. Don't drop your phone into curries, or don't meet with accident thus hurting yourself and your bike, it will only pinch your pockets.

Thats all for now, will add more as they strike me.

i made it

It’s not everyday that you plan to travel 650 kms on your own, in a single day on a two wheeler. And you make such crazy plans when you go to nearby places like Araku, Yarada or Yanam with friends on bikes and it turns out to be a lot of fun. And on one such trip it struck me that I could go to my parents place in Hyderabad on bike. Since the time this thought was born, every single time I hit the road, the thought of the journey would cross my mind. Every night before sleeping the trip would be on my thoughts.

When I had decided I would make this trip, I didn’t know the problems I could face, and when every night I used to think about this trip, a new problem my mind would create. Convincing parents one, carrying the luggage another, handling the bike and taking proper care on the dangerous highway were the problems of their own kind. And convincing parents was a daunting task. It took quite some explanation from my side to let them allow me to come driving. This trip needed to be executed in two phases. Phase 1: Transporting my luggage (because obviously carrying a suitcase on bike, wasn’t a good idea). Phase 2: Transporting myself. So for Phase 1, after requesting some of my friends, one guy Naveen agreed to carry my luggage to Hyderabad by train, so he did and thus I was left with one bag, which I could comfortably wear on my back. With Phase 1 successfully completed the trip had become 90% confirmed, all I needed was some determination and some presence of mind to make it happen (successfully).

Well, yeah, I planned it, and I made it. Vizag to Hyderabad on my Apache RTR 160. The idea struck me in the cold days of December but I executed it after 5 months, during the hot days of May. The excitement was high but as the d-day started approaching mind started playing games with me: The heat is too much, The distance is a lot, You are alone, The machine and the road can’t be trusted. But I hung on to what became the experience of a lifetime.

On the wee hours of 11th May I started my trip from Vizag. I had planned to sleep early on the 10th night, wake up early and start, but the excitement and the nervousness had different plans. Was just lying on bed from 10pm trying to sleep, but your thoughts don’t leave you when you want them to. And finally at 2am I gave up, and decided to leave for the road. At 2:40 I was on my bike on the NH5, with no sleep but a lot adrenal and my i-pod plugged into my ears at full volume.
The plan was to travel slow, but consistently with break of 20-30mins after every 100kms. Driving between 60-70kmph my first stoppage after traveling 132kms was Tuni which I reached at 5:10 in the morning, the sky being still dark.
When you make plans like these, you take many opinions and apply a few, and this was one opinion that I applied, giving rest to bike after every 100kms, so that the engine doesn’t die. Because I knew I can overcome the difficulties my body create, but handling the bike’s nuances would be tough. So I resumed at 5:38am. Rajahmundry was 80kms away and that was my next stoppage, which I reached at 6:50am after traveling 225kms at about 70-80kmph.
Thinking about the days when I was planning this journey, and you don’t make trips like these all alone, and a couple of my friends were supposed to come with me, on their respective bikes, but one of them, Umesh changed his plan and the other, Asad lost his guts, and me discouraged with the thought that I will be making this trip alone, but the words of my brother boosted my confidence, “When you are going at a speed of 100kmph, your bike is your best friend.” And I realized it on the road that day that he was right.
Vijayawada was my next main halt 200kms away, which I reached at 11:40 traveling at 80-90kmph, but crossing the city took an entire hour, and I decided to stop in a nice hotel and for some hours and allow the heat to decrease a little. Had lunch and slept for a couple of hours in an A1 hotel with the same name which comes after crossing Vijayawada on NH9. The heavy lunch, tiredness of the journey and the heat outside made me fall asleep instantly on the couch at the reception, I know sleeping at reception hall isn’t the right thing, but if you haven’t slept for 36 hours straight and driven about 400kms, this could be considered as an exception. After 2 hours of real peaceful sleep under the AC and with clock ticking at 3:15 and odometer reading at 410kms I started once more for my destination, but was unaware of what awaited ahead. The distance I covered from 3-6pm was a torture, with the Sun and Earth both showering their love for me in the form of intense heat. The wind was like one from a hot boiler and the highway was a fire-track, but your home 250kms away you don’t feel like stopping. Patience kept decreasing and speed kept increasing traveling at 90-100kmph and enduring the fireballs from the sun and the hot blowers from the road with two stoppages, I entered Hyderabad at 7:30, but it took another 90 minutes of driving in the traffic to reach my house and thus ended the 18 hours journey.

Sans the duration of 3-6pm the entire trip was a real pleasure, all you need is some passion for driving, a dependable bike and a nice collection of songs in your i-pod.

A journey like this teaches you, you don’t need company everywhere, and if deep within yourself you believe you can do it, then you can do it, no matter how much ever people discourage you.

Pretty much True!

Happy New Year 2010?

What's so happy about this new year?
Why you already being so jolly my dear?
In a calendar it is just another day.
'Enjoy a lot' why do you say?

We haven't achieved anything yet,
None of our dreams we have met.
What's the celebration about?
All the happy faces give me this doubt.

A year back, everyone shouted in rhyme.
Happy New Year 2009.
But the year saw Swine Flu's scare.
Taking away lives everywhere.
Like new year wishes, swine flu spread.
And before people knew it, they were dead.

Earthquake hit the Sumatra land,
People died at the devil's hand.
All of Indonesia just stood and stared.
A thousand people died and no-one cared.

Air France lost its Air Bus in mid air.
Simply vanished, no-one knew where.
230 lives gone, without any clue.
A disaster of a kind the world never knew.

The music world witnessed its child going.
Death of the pop star compelled a little mourning.
And 2009 brought Michael Jackson's demise.
Yet, don’t the same song people reprise?

2009 saw Rajshekhar Reddy fall from the skies,
The entire Andhra had tears in their eyes.
Trouble for the state was there in store,
As KCR attacked the government even more.
With slogans of Telangana people went on a furore.
Hyderabad shuts down and leads to losses of crores.

A year back, everyone shouted in rhyme.
Happy New Year 2009.
2009 went with a number of sorrows.
Here is 2010 with mysterious tomorrows.

What's so happy about this new year?
Why you already being so jolly my dear?
Let’s do things so that we can end this year with a smile.
Make others happy and walk that extra mile.
Then we can say with pride and no fear,
That the going 2010 was a happy year.
Let us be joyous after achieving something,
Why are we so happy when we did nothing?

-Abhinava Sharma “Deep”